Westbourne Associates work with individuals and teams to help them operate at their best consistently. We do this by sharing impactful and practical tools and techniques to make better decisions and build resilience.
An overwhelming rush of energy courses through your body
When we are stressed cortisol and adrenaline levels increase in the body; a surge of energy that pushes you into action. You suddenly feel your heartbeat increase, you begin to breathe faster and can start sweating.
This reaction is called the ‘fight-or-flight response’, a physiological response to stress.
The sensations are associated with a threat to survival, as the body prepares to meet danger and attack, or flee the scene to safety. But there is no physical danger as such – there is no sabre-toothed tiger in front of us (as our ancestors would have had). Instead, the attack we are dealing with is our own panic.
Generation Panic’ers (high achieving professionals in their 20s to 30s) are experiencing this response, despite being far from life-threatening danger. The panic attack is triggered by our internal threats, which can be caused by memories of the past or worries about the future. As a result, this response can happen in every day situations, such as meeting your boss for a meeting at work or arriving at a party where you do not know anyone. When these thoughts and bodily reactions hit us, even without an obvious external danger as such, our emotional reaction can feel overwhelming.
Our breathing is the most powerful tool
When I first had a panic attack I was terrified. My throat got tight, I felt sick and completely out of control. It felt like I was unable to get enough oxygen into my body and I could not catch my breath.
As simple as it sounds, breathing deeply and calmly – right down in to the pit of my tummy has been an excellent tool to control my anxiety. When I am able to breathe deeply, it sends a message to my body to feel calmer. However, when panicking it is difficult to “just breathe deeper”; knowing that you need to do it doesn’t make it any easier to actually do it.
Therefore, one of my favourite exercises to get my breathing under control is the following tip for your toolbox, ‘Make it rain’. It helps to calm you down, so that then you are able to focus on your breath again and get it under control. Here is how it goes:
Toolbox: Make it rain Close your eyes and imagine that you are standing under a calm waterfall. Let the waterfall wash over your head, over your shoulders and down your back, and as it does, breathe deeply right into the depths of your tummy. As the calm water continues to cascade over your body, feel peace wash over you. Let it wash your anxieties and worries off your body, downstream, away from you – and just let things be. Then breathe deeply yet again. And another deep breath, letting go.
Have you noticed that when you are feeling down your shoulders are hunched? Or when you are worried, your muscles becomes tense and your neck feels tight and strained. Our body can physically reflect the emotions we are feeling.
Amy Cuddy in her TED Talk talks about the power pose and how we can ultimately ‘trick’ our brain to serve us better. By adopting some of these wonder-woman like poses before big events (such as a presentation or meeting) we can immediately feel bigger, stronger and more powerful. It can also benefit us to use this technique when we are feeling on the back foot and anxious.
Generation Panic’ers can influence the signals from our bodies to our minds. In doing so, we can learn to change these messages to positively affect our mood and even reduce our levels of anxiety. There is the physical, external side of how you are holding your body and what it represents, but there is also an internal quality that is worth noting – your gut feeling can be a good indicator of how you are truly feeling.
Always trust your gut Your gut feeling – your instinct and intuition – holds many messages as it reacts to your environment; it can quite literally speak to us. The nervous system in the gut is as extensive as the brain. They are closely related, and messages go from the gut to the brain just as much as from the brain to the gut.
When we connect with our gut feeling we can feel more in control and relaxed, as the awareness helps to reduce our anxiety. For Generation Panic, it will help to connect to your intuition so that you know when you feel good and also when things are perhaps not working as well as you would like. For example, accepting an invitation to an event might not be the best thing for you. However, if (before answering) you were to connect and listen to your gut feeling, it will tell you the best route forward and instinctually what you should do…
How can you connect to your gut feeling? This is one way I try to shift my own energy. Have a go:
Toolbox: Think about your gut feeling. Where does it literally sit in your body? How can you tell if it is “happy” or “discontent” with something? How does it react to different experiences and what happens in you? Consider how you can connect to this intuition more easily? Set up a daily routine of taking a couple of minutes each morning to reflect on your gut feeling? How can you feel confident enough to pause before giving an answer to a big decision? Question what needs to happen before you trust your gut feeling; is anything blocking you? Ignore the rules, be flexible and cut out the noise of what you think other people want you to do – trust your gut! Also watch Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk and practice the power poses she discusses – a great resource to use.
Are you ambitious, driven and have progressed quickly at work?
Do you have a packed life (friends, family, gym, work etc.), but you are struggling to keep all the plates spinning at the same time?
Do you feel successful but worried below the surface – are you feeling lonely and looking for help to hold it all together?
Anxiety is more common than we think
If the above sounds familiar, you are not alone. It is anxiety. Today, nearly 300 million people worldwide are suffering from an anxiety disorder.
Anxiety is a feeling of unease, like worry or fear. It can be mild or severe. A healthy dose of anxiety is a positive thing; it can push us further and help us to operate at our best. But when the worry or fear takes over and becomes all-consuming, it can be counter-productive. If your anxiety is ever-present, controls your life and reduces your quality of living in some way, then something needs to change.
Generation Panic wants more
It is common for high achievers in their 20s and 30s to get anxious and suffer from panic attacks. I call them ‘Generation Panic’. This group of people are usually starting out in their careers, yet have progressed quickly and are doing well. They put themselves under a lot of pressure at work and feel the need to present the image that they are holding everything together. However, under the surface they might well be unable to cope with their anxiety but have no idea where to start and do not want to reveal their “weakness” to those around them. Often these people have already tried a meditation app that quite frankly has not worked… so now what?!
Launching Generation Panic
I want to help these people. I specialise in working with ambitious and driven professionals who have a track record of achieving great things but who are struggling with anxiety. I have been there myself and I am on a mission to ensure that no-one feels as lost and as lonely as I did. There are easy tools and tips to do to make you feel yourself again, so you do not have to deal with what I faced before.
I have written a book – Generation Panic – that is going to be published in 2020, but for now I am launching my blog, which I hope will act as a forum for advice, support and inspiration. I would love you to join my conversations here.
5 Quick Pointers
I have been running my coaching practice for a number of years and I have learnt a great deal. Here are just five pointers that I want to share with you:
You are not alone: Many struggle with their mental wellbeing, but keep it to themselves. It means that the number mentioned before of 300 million people struggling with anxiety is only an indication. It is highly likely that there are many more in the shadows suffering. I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling anxious. To have this knowledge is a step in the right direction to feeling a little calmer and at ease every day.
2. You have the right to ask for help: No one will judge you if you ask for help. No one will look at you differently if you speak up. When you ask for help, it means that you are accepting a change.
3. You don’t have to feel like this: I know it is (almost) as if anxiety runs your life. It influences all your activities and who you are. But that is not a given and you can bring more relaxation and joy to your life. And get back your ‘real’ You.
4. You can get the tools you need to help you: There are a set of tools that can easily get you back on track. It does not have to be costly nor time-consuming. They can bring a difference to your life and I will share these with you soon. The toolkit you can build will be easy to do and you can return to again and again to ensure you do not slip back to where you are today.
5. You can have everything you dream of: With the right relationship to anxiety, you can grow. When you grow, you will see that there are no restrictions on having a fulfilling life. I will show you how.
A way out
When my clients begin coaching with me, they are unable to find a way out and the “just get on with it” voice is beginning to wear thin. They know that something needs to change but they are unsure of where to start. Using my coaching experience, together with my personal experience, I work with my clients’ mindset. This is focused on getting back on track, and in a place where they can feel happier and in control again.
Through coaching I learned to handle my anxiety, I learnt the tools to use whenever I needed them. Today, I have the right relationship with my anxiety: I feel happy and in control – and I want you to feel the same.
A safe place for advice and inspiration
I worked out that there is a need for an easy-to-go-to toolkit; a forum to turn to for support. That is why I am rolling out my blog to do just that: provide guidance. I would also love to hear from you. My hope is that we can meet here. And you will see, that you are not alone.
Agi Heale is an experienced Certified Professional Coach and Founder of Westbourne Associates. She has a demonstrated history of working with high potential professionals going through transition. Agi is skilled in Coaching, Executive Coaching, Emotional Resilience & Confidence Skills, and Team Building. Excellent coach training with International Teaching Seminars, Coaches Training Institute and City University. Coaching training and qualifications include:
Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) through the Coaches Training Institute (CTI), over 200 hours training with CTI, the largest in-person coach training in the world
Member of the International Coaching Federation and an Accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC) equating to over 500 logged client hours
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner trained with International Teaching Seminars
Coaching for Business Certificate – City University
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